The Elephant in the Room

I’m going to start this off with a quick disclaimer. I am very fortunate to be able to have an experience such as living in a foreign country. Dreams are made of this. I am stoked to travel, to try new things, and meet new people. Really, I am. BUT…..

I am beyond homesick. I think I was a bit naive when it came to thinking I’d just fit right on in and get the hang of things. I certainly haven’t had a bad experience, and for the most part people have been very friendly. But I constantly feel out of place, that every outing is a battle. Do I have USD or euro on me? Does this place take an EC card? Will my food take 3 hours to get to the table? Will my kids keep it together to go out to eat?

I have met a few people and have become friends but it isn’t that well established friendship feel. (I know you have to start somewhere but in uncertain times you crave not having to explain yourself.) I miss my friends back home terribly, miss our kids’ play dates full of giggles and rambunctiousness. I miss knowing that even if there were no plans to get together that day that they were always there for me. I miss feeling comfortable and just relaxing. I miss my routine, as mundane as it seemed some days. I miss the Oklahoma spring, full of loud thunderstorms and the warm sun shining on your face. I miss spray parks and BBQ, listening to country and driving down the interstate. I miss the zoo, Sonic cherry limeade, and baseball games on a warm summer evening. I miss the ranch and I miss knowing we had friends or family relatively near by to watch the kids if we needed a night out. I miss my family and the mountains, taking a weekend off and staying at Glacier Park. I miss being able to be around for big occasions like graduations and birthdays. I miss being able to run in to a store and get out relatively quickly without incident. I sorely miss carrying on a conversation with the general population, or even just understanding what someone just said.

I mainly just miss feeling normal. The house is pretty much done, and slowly feeling like home. But the days are long, the rain seemingly endless, the internet and phone still not connected…leaving me to feel very alone.

I know this is temporary. I know things will settle and things will be great and they may have to drag me kicking and screaming to go back someday….but right now I just miss home.